Our lives are spent searching for something to complete us, but often we confuse the something with a someone that we think can fill the vacant space, or we try and stuff our lives full of things that break, and get lost, and get old and rusty.
If you want to fill a place in a heart it’s got to be something that matches up to the greatness and intricate power that the heart has. Something that will never ever stop for even a minute, something that can be so strong that it keeps you alive when you really are hanging on to your last bit of life.
Just over a year ago I was taken to hospital after collapsing in the middle of the night when I got up to go to the bathroom. Before the ambulance came I was sick a lot, and I reaaaaally don’t like sick, so much so that if someone else is sick it makes me sick! This time it was a bit worse, though. I was vomiting blood. Every time my stomach clenched and I doubled over, more and more blood came pouring out. I was terrified.
When we reached the hospital I was pushed through the doors of A&E on a trolly, still with no idea what was going on. I was finding it more and more difficult to keep my eyes open as my condition worsened. I remember my dad speaking to me but I couldn’t see his face anymore and there was nothing in me that could respond.
Let me just pause to explain…
When we reached the hospital I was pushed through the doors of A&E on a trolly, still with no idea what was going on. I was finding it more and more difficult to keep my eyes open as my condition worsened. I remember my dad speaking to me but I couldn’t see his face anymore and there was nothing in me that could respond.
I woke up in the resuscitation unit. My body had gone in to hypovolemic shock from loosing around 70% its blood.
Let me just pause to explain…
Hypovolemic shock is what happens when you have severe blood and fluid loss, your brain and heart work together to pump the blood between them both to keep you alive. None of the other organs matter anymore, it does what it can to keep you going just a few minutes longer.
The way to resuscitate me from that state was to give a blood transfusion so that there would be no irreversible damage to the organs that switched off. The worst part was over, and after a few days, another blood transfusion and a lot of bags of fluid I was able to leave the hospital.
I recovered quickly and thankfully it caused no long term-damage, but I am constantly in amazement of what my heart had the ability to do. My heart kept me alive when the other organs couldn’t keep up.
When people talk about missing something from their life, what they are really talking about is missing something from their heart, the core of who they are, what will keep them going when everything else seems to be falling apart.
How can we expect to fill that gap with anything less incredible than the heart itself? Anything less powerful? That wouldn’t make it complete. So until we find the one thing that can match it we will never ever feel truly complete.
God created us, he knows every inch of us and he is the one who designed our hearts with perfect precision. So why would I fill a gap in my life with anything but the greatest thing of all? The only thing that can really complete me.
God is steadfast through every situation, he stays the same no matter what we face. He is even greater than my heart was when it kept me alive when there was barely no life left.
Emma
xx
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